go forth and blog

so i’ve started a blog, really what i should be doing is studying for my 2 sacs tomorrow, but this seems more important. well i guess i should introduce myself. i have recently been told that i “am a joke”, a harmless statement that seems to effect me more and more each time. i have always been the funny man, the guy who makes a joke and cheers you up, but to be called a joke is almost as bad as someone saying that you are useless. and maybe i am useless. year after year the marks on my reports get lower and i am told i have so much potential. where is it, is it stuck to my back like a “kick me” sign, just out of reach. i seem to be hopeless at everything. but not hopeless as in cute, just a sad fail in the background. i can never hold relationships, i am hopeless with feelings, i am disshonest and i can never seem to change. but maybe its just this strange mood i’m in, or perhaps i’m finally being honest. but for a first post i think i’ll leave it. a miniscule reflection, who knows when the next will be.


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